Mary Hughes, my grandmother is a phenomenal woman. She has overcome
adversities and her adversaries. Mary had given birth to nine children and was
the victim of a gunshot wound near her heart. She survived and surpassed the
expectations, others had set for her.
She has shown me by example; strength, intelligence and the courage to
remain constant in her convictions.
Mary was born during an era of segregation. Her grandfather was a white
man and her grandmother was Cherokee Indian. Although her family was prominent
in the community and had financial status, she was viewed as a person of color.
She had to drop out of middle school, at the age of fourteen to raise a child.
Even as a victim of rape, her mother forced her to marry her attacker. The
eldest of three children, Mary had to set a good example. She was married to
Dennis and started her family. Even though she dropped out of school, she went
on to take the G.E.D test and scored 100%. She later said there was a dispute
with a white man about whom actually scored perfect on the test. It was said a
young white female scored highest, but that was found to be untrue.
Although she never went to a university, Mary went to culinary
school. Having a love and passion for
cooking; she worked for over thirty years at Vanderbilt University’s cafeteria.
She said “They absolutely loved my pies”. She had a way with people and knew
how to use her southern charm to put a smile on anyone’s face. It was hard to
work full-time and care for eight children, one died. Somehow it was a
challenge she surpassed. She even found the time to assist her eldest child
with her studies, working towards becoming a paralegal. The trials Mary had
faced in her early life, gave her insight to share with her daughter in her
legal studies. She watched her daughter graduate and assisted her in finding
employment; with civil rights attorney Avon Williams.
My grandfather was a very jealous man. He would regularly check with the
children to see if Mary came home on time. She said “living life with him, was
as if living as a prisoner in her own home”. There was never any time for her
to just relax, without providing for her husband or family. One day she decided
to get away after work. Hanging out with some female friends and going to the
salon; was not something she did on a regular basis. The time away, was like a
breath of fresh air. When she was on her way home from the salon, walking less
than a block from her house; her life flashed before her very eyes. She was
shot at point blank range, in the chest. To her surprise when she opened her
eyes after falling to the ground; it was her husband Dennis that shot her. She
said she remembered him saying in a gruesome voice, “I guess you just leaving
your boyfriend’s house”, then she lost consciousness.
Several days later, she has awakened in the hospital surrounded by her
husband and children. She said “it was an overwhelming feeling, to awake from
what I thought was the end of my life, to realize my husband had once again
hurt me.” The doctor said the bullet was less than an inch from her heart, and
she was lucky to be alive. A few more days had passed, and she was greeted by
the police. There was a frightening appearance, on the face of the officer.
Having a deep baritone voice, he asked “Did you see who shot you?” Without any
hesitation and her heart beating as fast as a locomotive, she responded, “My Husband.”
At that moment she knew her life was about to change, yet again. A week later
she was released to home, her husband in jail and Marys’ mother had to help
provide for her grandchildren. It was three years before my grandfather was
released from prison.
My grandfather came home after his release. Mary welcomed him with open
arms. Even though he was abusive and had mistreated her for many years; her
convictions remained constant. The family was back together, nevertheless it
was still not perfect. Daily there were arguments and fighting. She had to find
solace in prayer, to escape his abuse. Bessie (Marys’ mom) developed a hatred
for my grandfather over the years. She told her daughter, “I wish I had never
made you marry that devilishly evil man.” Mary said “it was the hand I was
dealt.” She refused to give up on her family.
Mary remained married to Dennis for 43 years, before he died. She has
always said “I am at peace now.” There have been many nights she had
nightmares, about the things her husband subjected her to. Yet she still has
shown resilience and never regretful of her choice to keep her family together.
To this very day, she remains a woman of faith and has always inspired many
people. In her younger years she had suffered numerous nervous breakdowns, but
has always been faithful. Every time I see her she smiles. I ask her, “Do you smile
because you are happy?” She always replies, “From where I was to where I am,
there is no greater joy than the afflictions that I have overcome. It is joy
that makes me smile and my faith is always in my father, Amen.” I admire my
grandmother not only for her strength’s; but all the things she has overcome. I
will gladly tell the world, I am her biggest admirer.
