Friday, May 24, 2019

Resilience


I grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional environment. My grandmother read me the bible and indoctrinated me at an early age. I watched her from 5, suffer with nervous breakdowns. She and I were very close. My grandfather would emotionally and sometimes physically abuse her.
My grandfather would beat me for sport and force me to watch him take baths. I did poorly in school, because I was afraid of what I would face, when I got home. Every-day was a struggle. He might beat me seven days a week. He also taught me about fixing things around the house, cutting grass and working on cars. He wasn't all bad, but the bad things shaped my mind. He told me he was sorry, before he took his last breath.

When I was going through junior high, I became rebellious. I hung out with the lose girls and wanted to be like the girls, that did not have guidance at home. My mom was strict and very controlling. She gave me little-freedom, but at least I did not get pregnant. That was her main concern.
I went through high school and experienced bullying regularly. I did the minimum in high school and graduated. I did not consider college, because I did not think I was good enough. My grandmother made sure I had a car and dressed well. That made some of the other girls jealous. Class was never a problem for me.

I worked for 20 years in Mental Health and Healthcare.I wanted to understand the mind, because my grandmother suffered, throughout my life. I dated thugs and allowed them to minimize my self-esteem, because that is what I thought love was. We do what we think is right.
I married a guy, despite my grand-mothers advice. She always had the gift of discernment. She was always right. The marriage ended badly. Every-time I tried to improve myself or go to college, he discouraged me. I was working on becoming a Police officer, but had to put the relationship behind me. We can be guilty by association and I wanted a better life.

I got a divorce and stopped hanging out in bad company. My mind changed. It was like I became another person. I sought God and positivism. These things started to change me. I would do unto others, as I would have them do to me. I started practicing what I would preach. I was walking the walk.

The more I would grow, I still did not understand myself completely. I worked at the Dept of Veterans Affairs. I would listen to the things people told me and uplift them. My consciousness continued to increase. I wanted to stop people’s pain and it helped to heal mine too. I became very zealous. I would advocate for patients, when no one else would listen. Abused people abuse people. I went from having a desire for nursing, to wanting to become a Psychologist to help people. I did not have all the answers or know it all. I was growing as a woman of God.

I had a few problems, because I did not understand emotional intelligence at the time. I asked myself were my intentions good. They were. I just had to grow. That experience made me leave nursing and I started political advocacy, with the Obama Administration. The LIGHT CAME ON!
Speaking out for the rights of others showed me what I could do. To whom much is given much is required. People would listen to me. I thought I was stupid my entire life, just to realize, my tests became my Testimony.

My activism did not land me a position. I then sought to travel to become more self-aware, life coach and minister. I spent time at a ministry in Georgia. I slept outside the Atlanta Women's Mission, after my things were stolen at the previous homeless shelter. They stole everything, but I got my grandmothers Bible back.

For those that listened, I shared knowledge and encouraged them. Homeless wasn't hopelessness. I got invited to a ministry, Seven Bridges to Recovery.  I got the chance to get close to God. I met a Pastor, who was a Doctor. She told me to continue to document all my experiences, for when I get my PsyD. We meet people for a reason.

I left Georgia and went to NYC. I had $30 and a bus ticket and knew no one. God brought someone to help me, and I got a place to live and got on my feet. I stayed there for 1 year. I got a chance to help a few Vietnam Veterans and uplift the ones that wanted to be better.
I then went to LA. I spent time speaking and coaching people on Skid Row or Tent City. They were friendly and not like I was told people were down there. Some wanted to help themselves but didn't know how.

I studied Mind-Valley, Dianetic's, Buddhism and The Chakras to become a better me. When I took the HDA course in Dianetics, my mind became CLEAR. Everything my grandmother was teaching me, was to be Aware. The Bible saved my life. The various platforms of knowledge gave me understanding and I gained Wisdom from my bad experiences.
I then went to San Diego and San Francisco. I observed, documented and wrote a few books while there. I would share with those who would listen, but some were happy where they were in life. I learned to stop allowing anyone to suppress me or tell me what was not possible. I became WHOLE, while being Single.



I next went to Utah to coach and minister to Mormon women. Utah had the highest rate of Opioid addiction, teenage suicide and mental health issues. I got the chance to speak to many women. I knew it was time to leave, because, I was not the conformist type. We each have Constitutional Rights. I have a Mind of my Own.

I headed to DC. I love to speak, I have GOALS and my Ambition is High! I don't know what the Lord has planned, but I know what I want! My grandmother graduated with God. Now I must be the BEST woman I can be, or She may not be happy about that! She is my Motivation. I watched her for Forty Years Suffer. Everything I do will be in Her Name.

Paralegal
BS in Criminal Justice
JD
PsyD
I may not be there yet, but I will be...God may even make things Better....


All things are possible. If YOU only just believe!

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