To see if a person is good; watch them when they have an abundance of possessions. I see now that my heart is too big. I have had abundance and also lack. I see my biggest problem in the past was trying to display an outward appearance of Godliness. It didn't matter that I gave more of myself, than I took. I found that I was taken advantage of, repeatedly.
Now I see things from brand new eyes. The culture I was raised in; made me believe in order to be a good woman, I had to endure afflictions and poverty to be enlightened. I no longer believe those things. We each have a journey in life. Not everything we were taught as children are true. I see that during my trials in life, I became a beautiful woman.
It is not for me to present a certain image for mankind. I know what dwells within. I treat people the way I would like to be treated and if I treat them better than they would treat themselves; that something they have to deal with. I find many people have seen something within me and have taken advantage. That's alright, because I have learned.
Many times the people that you are acquainted with, do not want your company genuinely, but what you have to offer them. It is a reality that I faced in my past. I now choose more carefully, who I have in my close circle.Many days I crave stimulating conversation. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I honestly don't like talking for the sake of moving my lips.
I know words have power and do not choose to waste them on things that cannot uplift humanity. I believe sometimes people think I can be stuck up or antisocial. That is not the case. My family has no comprehension for who I am, nor my acquaintances. I have few true friends, but I can make new ones. I see I have always been different and not fit in, most of my life.
The thing I have desired, have always been greater than most I have known. I have a right to think big. I cannot choose a life for another, nor will I allow another to chose a life for me. I've had people constantly attempting to pressure me back into church. I refuse. I choose my path. I have seen too much negative in church to return.
I don't know if I will visit a building again, when I leave Nashville. I know I will be relocating very soon. The thing most forget is, we the people are the church. The building is not where the spirit dwells, but within each of us. The place we have gone to worship cannot save our spirit. We must search genuinely from in ourselves, to find inner peace.
I can remember when I was a young girl, always having a feeling of lack and emptiness. Since I have gotten older and wiser in understanding, I get it. The void I was always longing to fill, was inside me. I get lonely for someone to really understand me, because many don't. I find many people want me around, for their own selfish gain. That's not always a good feeling.
Life has gotten lonely. I did search for purpose and truth, but I have those things now. I wait patiently, for the one that will add to my present gifts and increase. I know he exists, because I met him. That is the thing most search for their entire lives and never find. I will not settle anymore. I did that my entire existence. Now it's time for LaTrice to live.
During those times you are searching for answers and meaning; sit quietly and pray. You will find all the answers to your questions have been with you all along. May you have peace and find what you seek. Never allow others to speak negative things into your mind. You are beautiful and special. Find what makes you have butterflies within and follow. That is your passion.
I love you and wish you well.
LaTrice
Latrice@LatriceHughes.Biz
http://latricehughes.biz/
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